I realized that I have not been serious about pursuing the truth. I fool myself into the belief that I am by chasing knowledge, reading books, setting goals, adhering to routines. But all this is just a game. A game that makes me addicted to a game.
The solution is to explore the problem. Explore it until it what needs to be done (or not done) becomes obvious.
Everything else is not addressing the issues directly.
Everything else is organizing your desk while your house is on fire.
I'm realizing how much of my life I've spent in a “should” state. Only doing the things that I think I should do. This started when I was around 24 and has continued until now at the age of 29.
I don't want to continue any longer. I want to get back the confidence I had at 18, where there was no such thing as “discipline”, and somehow I studied, worked out, and was creative. All without feeling like I “should” do any of them.
“Should” is an energy suck.
Here's one positive thing I've found in the midst of the pandemic: The streets are quiet.
I've always taken daily walks, and recently I stopped putting on my headphones when I do. I don't want to miss the silence. I know it will be gone soon. I also have been trying to walk slower than my normal pace which is always hurried for absolutely no reason.
Walking has been written about for centuries. There is something important about it to our mental and physical state.
Even if you workout daily, there is still a benefit to walking. It connects your body and mind (as does exercise) but also connects your spirit. It is in fact a spiritual exercise, like meditation or prayer.
The cars and people will populate the streets again, which I will enjoy in its own way. Until then, I'll be cherishing when I step outside into the silence and put one foot in front of the other.
Who was I before I decided who I should be? What did I value before I discovered the values?
I always used to turn off the hourly time signal on my digital casio. Frequently, and frustratingly, in the process of setting my morning alarm, I would by mistake turn on the hourly alarm.
Yesterday it went off, notifying me that a new hour had begun. For some reason, this time it struck me differently. A new hour has begun.
What a relief. I can start over. 2pm doesn't have to include the same procrastination, confusion, and pleasure-seeking that had consumed 3pm.
Not only this, I know there will be another beep in an hour. I know there will be several beeps in the day.
Hell, I can spend this entire beep planning what I'll do for the next beep. Which is actually a great idea. A requirement in fact. If an hour is lost, rather than assuming I'll snap out of it, spring back, and make up for those 60 minutes, I spend the next 60 planning:
What led to me wasting that hour? How can I prevent it from happening again? What do I plan to do in the next hour? I should clearly lay out what needs to be done.
Granted, this isn't a fix-all. I anticipate eventually becoming desensitized to the beeps. Nevertheless, it's something to try. Another routine to cycle through until I start getting diminishing returns or until I get comfortable and lax with it.
No one did it alone. Nike wouldn't have been successful if he didn't have his old coach Bowerman, or the banks to loan money, or his old college friend Johnson to be his salesman. The idea of a mad scientist figuring it all out alone in a lab is dead.
I read The One Thing a few years ago but this podcast provided clarifying context on how to use the questions. I'll definitely be revisiting the book.
Agreements vs. Disagreements
“Agreements” are only referenced when there's a disagreement. So it's best to frame it as a “disagreement” and understand you will refer to it if there is a dispute amongst the parties.
The Focusing Question
This is the question to ask oneself to make sure we're appropriately using our time. “What's the one thing I can do at work that will make everything else easier or unnecessary?”
I was relieved to hear that Gary Keller relied on this question with his mother, who could be difficult at times as every conversation with her would turn into gossip and negative talk about family. He asked “What's the one thing I can do with my mother that will make everything else easier or unnecessary?” The answer for him was to play dominoes with his mom, so there would be much less negative talk. I found this personally helpful.
Before Noon
Get the important things done before noon. Do not risk waiting until later.
Older people seem to have different facial expressions than the young. More instances of furrowed brows and pursed lips are on aged faces. As if they’re constantly looking into the sun, scrunching to not let so much light in. I guess this occurs as we get older.
The young are quite literally wide-eyed. They have yet to impose their opinion on the world and receive it a bit more openly.
I’ve been more aware of my resting facial expression and making sure it’s more open and neutral.
Upon death, your children and your children's children will remember your name. And possibly their children after that. But slowly and certainly, a name fades. Then at some point, in a passing sentence, possibly through a mouth full of rice, it will be uttered one final round.
Forget your name and its reach. Simply be the best name for yourself and those in immediate reach.